A New Year Rolls In

This is my sixth new year post. Sixth. That feels so strange and overwhelming in some way. That I've been doing this and documenting it for six year. That my first new years post was when I was 13/14. It's completely cringe-worthy. In the past I've always created elaborate lists for my goals of the year, but as I sit here, sipping coffee, I'm not sure if I can press forward with the same stamina. I also used to reflect back on my goals of the past year and see how I fared. Unfortunately, I can't do that this year because I never posted the list online and my old computer crashed last finals week in April.
But let's just take a gander at the past year in general, and at some of the highlights.
January...
My memories of January are mostly fond in among the bitter cold days of winter we experienced last year. My best friend travelled up to Ottawa and stayed with my for a week, so that made January extra-special for me.
February...
This month seems a bit of a blur. School was picking up, my shifts were picking up and I remember feeling pretty tired. I did buy a super cute dress this month though and the only reason I remember that is because I wore it on Valentine's Day after a shift on way to my Greek Civilization lecture. I think it was also in February that I travelled to Montreal and spent a weekend with Réb!
March...
March feels similar to February: all a blur mixed together of shifts and lectures and essays and coffee. I did finish up my job at Tim's the last week of March, however. I miss it a little bit, mostly because of the people, but I don't miss the hours or the rude customers.
April...
Ahh, the month of exams. This was a pretty frantic one as I had four exams in three days with my last exam being on Greek Civilization circa 1000 BCE - 100 CE and carrying a weight of 50 per cent of my final grade. I received no help from my program's director in changing that fate so I trucked through it, finished it (and did well) before making the long drive back home to New Brunswick the following day.
May...
This was my first kick at the can of journalism. Everything was still so shiny and new and a little intimidating. I found it really hard to find stories this month and definitely relied on Katelin for suggestions.
June...
I started to come into my own a bit in the newsroom this month. I gained a little more confidence at how things were run and started to chat more with my colleagues. This I believe was also the month of the newsroom switch, so seating changed and I was closer to the other interns. I think this was my favourite month of the whole internship.
July...
I think this was one of the roughest months. I felt really, really drained and the end was still far away from sight. I was working long hours and extra days on the weekends and I started to resent going to work a little bit, which is a very scary place to be starting out in your career. One amazing thing that happened this month, however, was that I interviewed the former premier of New Brunswick (current at the time) David Alward. I was working on provincial storm coverage for Arthur and happened to be the right reporter in the right spot at the right time.
August...
I think this is when I truly bonded with my fellow interns (ashamedly late) over our distaste for the late hours and how some things were run. We finally were honest with one another and realized we all felt the same way! It was wonderful working with all of them and August was a good month, albeit still very draining. I had one awful experience covering a boardwalk event when I could barely talk to anyone...
September...
Back to the hustle and bustle of school. September was an alright month. Full of a bit of homesickness for my mum and dad and best friend, but I was trying to fit into the swing of school and wasn't feeling too overwhelmed--save for journalism.
October...
In October I travelled back home for my cousin's wedding which was so wonderful and it made a dent in my finances but I honestly didn't regret it for one moment, even when I was down to eating soup last month! It was a bit tearful as I struggled with my decision to continue with my plans of journalism and wondered what I was doing it all for. I had one break down in Tiffany's car and then realized "My Hometown" was playing on the stereo...how apt.
November...
Things started to look up a bit in November, I finally landed a job so finances were a bit less of a worry, although it was still scary and touch-and-go waiting for my first pay cheque. But things were heading in the right direction. In terms of school I was feeling very overwhelmed by the poor quality of work I completed in October and had to pay the consequences for.
December...
Academically, the light was at the end of the tunnel. I finished my final assignments and then it was smooth-sailing for studying, which I find much more therapeutic, and almost fun, rather than essay-writing. This month also bought the confirmation that I wouldn't be returning home for Christmas. The lead-up to the big day was hard and full of a few tears, but the actual day passed smoothly and I made myself my first big turkey dinner--which turned out delightfully in my humble opinion.
Wow. So there we have it. My entire year revisited within the last 39 minutes of writing. It feels weird to have wracked my brain for certain memories while other flew from my fingertips onto the keyboard. It's been a heck of a year with jobs, travel, tears and memories. I can't even imagine what 2015 will bring: my third year of university, more jobs, definitely more tears.
Well here's to the last one, later on today I'll post something with my goals for the year, but for right now I'm going to make myself another coffee, maybe a bit to eat, and text my best friend.

Surprise Flowers

Last Wednesday I was on campus writing my first exam (goodbye Journalism and Public Institution 2205) and when I came out I had a voicemail from my landlord saying someone had dropped me off flowers. I was flabbergasted at who could have sent them for the entire trip home!

It turns out that my Nanny from back home sent me the beautiful arrangement of red and white hued carnations with festive baubles and pinecones. The pine needles smell absolutely divine and have definitely livened up my small apartment; my tree is an artificial one, so this small centrepiece makes the place smell like Christmas!

It was honestly the best mid-week pick me up to come home to in the midst of finals week and they've lasted really well so far! For the past week they've put a smile on my face every time I walk into the living room.

Scattered Birthday Thoughts

So, I'm feeling a lot better tonight. Maybe it's the fact that it's my birthday, or maybe it's the fact that I've talked to almost every member of my immediate family today and didn't get in a fight with anyone. It's probably the latter.

 I always love the lead up to birthdays, because it means my mailbox slowly fills up will coloured cards alongside the flyers and bills and it just feels special. The anticipation is slowly starting and it's true that as you get older, it's so easy to see birthdays as just another day. I live alone and there are no longer any sleepovers and pizza parties to get excited about and stay up all night for, so seeing my mailbox fill up with special messages from my loved ones made the day feel special. And the fact that my dad is a procrastinator means that I'll have another surprise in my mailbox over the next few days.

I guess I've already made it seem pretty clear, but my birthday is on Remembrance Day, which means every morning I wake up with a special feeling of celebration and gratitude at the same time. My great-grandfather fought in the Second World War, along with my great-uncle and a great-uncle who died in Italy. The day has special poignancy to me for those reasons. One of the things I love about living in Ottawa is that I get to attend the ceremony at the grave of the unknown soldier, symbolically representing all the men and women who died fighting for our freedom. Last year was my first year attending and this year was made even more stark with the fact that just a few short weeks ago a young man named Cpl. Nathan Cirillo lost his life standing guard. The ceremony was made even more special with the rededication and the thoughts of Cpl. Cirillo in my head, alongside my late grampie. Placing my poppy on a cenotaph or memorial is always one of the highlights of my birthday.

I followed the ceremony downtown with taking a short trip to the Canadian War Museum. I had to do an assignment on a new exhibit there, Fighting in Flanders, but I especially loved being able to go there on Remembrance Day and rub shoulders with veterans both young and old proudly sporting their uniforms. The national, provincial and territorial flags outside the museum were all at half mast for the occasion.  

The sky outside the museum was stunning when I left around 4:30 p.m. The clouds just looked beautiful.

I also took a cheeky birthday selfie in the parking lot, because I had just gotten off the phone with my memere and aunt who began with singing me Happy Birthday--in English and then French.

When I finally got home I was able to open my present from one of my close friends from school. You've got to love the improvised student wrapping paper, right? Just last week I was telling him about how I didn't like Spongebob...so of course he gave me an e-greeting and card with Spongebob, along with the wrapping... But tucked inside was a beautiful Penguin edition of A Clockwork Orange, which I've never read! It's his favourite book and movie, so I told him I had to borrow his copy; he then thoughtfully surprised me with this and a pumpkin-scented candle which is currently burning.

I decided to have a cozy night in after finishing up that museum assignment, so I made myself an alcoholic concoction. Hot chocolate spiked with rum, maple syrup liqueur and with a dash of cinnamon, in my favourite mug. I've already finished this one taking some of the proceeding photos, so I think I may make myself another one to enjoy while I tuck  into my new book and perhaps write a few words or so.

Here's my new beautiful candle, from Indigo I believe.

And I also lit up some candles on my desk. My best friend bought me this as a housewarming present and I just love it: laugh some, live a lot, dream some, love a lot. 

If you can see a quality improvement in the last three photos, that's because I actually took them on my proper camera and not my phone.

I currently have Sam Smith's album playing in the background, so I think I'm going to bask in the remaining hours of my birthday and just enjoy feeling relaxed. For one night, I'm going to completely forget about the marks, etc. and I can pick up on them tomorrow. 

From Ottawa, here's Anna, now 19 and feeling OK. 

Struggling

I once had someone say to me in regards to school, but it's easy for you, you're smart.
I said the same thing now as I've been repeating to myself the last little bit: it doesn't come naturally to me. I don't naturally have this amazing cognitive memory or amazing skills that allow me to knock a paper out of the park on the first try. I struggle. Sometimes a hell of a lot. It takes a lot of determination for me to get through a set of notes or write up a draft. And I make sacrifices to do it.
There's this popular diagram of what it takes to be a successful student the requires you choose two out of good grades, sleep and a social life, but it's no where near as simple as that.
I've received some bad marks recently, ones that definitely won't see me into next year, and I'm struggling to figure out what's even the point. I worked hard and got through the bullshit in the past because I had an end goal in sight: I needed to get into Carleton, I needed to get into second year.
Well now I'm here. What's next?
I'm certainly not happy. I'm stressed, I'm tired and I feel so close to giving up. I need to discern for myself what I what/need from this. At the moment, I honestly cannot imagine myself forking out another $18,000 to suffer through two more years of this.
Over the past few years, school became my thing because it fit into the slot I needed in life to propel myself and make it to the next goal, but now my goals don't pertain to school at all. I just want out and I just want to feel healthy and happy again.
But I'm not sure how that can align with working 20 hours a week and going to school for 25 and somehow studying for the rest of the hours in between.

A Little Bit of Homesickness, A Little Bit of Presents

It's been awhile since I wrote a long, wordy post, but that's kind of what I'm in the mood for today. You see, I'm feeling more than a little bit homesick. I think it's because the holidays are creeping up and the holidays are my favourite part of the year, but this year I'm almost certain I won't be able to travel home for Christmas. This means that this year could potentially be my first year spending Christmas on my own. The reason I might stay in Ottawa over the holidays has to do with the fact that I took a seasonal job, meaning my contract runs straight through to January and I'd feel bad even attempting to take time off for such a short work term. Also, money is playing a factor of course.

So this has led to a whole tipsy-turvy slew of emotions lately. I haven't been able to shake the feeling of unease and just be happy, because I'm constantly worried. It seems trife to be thinking this far ahead and getting worried about a mere possibility, but like I said, I absolutely love the holidays. I'm not a religious person, so the able for me is in the lead up and the excitement and the music and the lights. I love buying present for people and spending time with family.

I've had some awful Christmases in the past, full of tears and fights, but I can't seem to let that convince me it's not a magical time of year. In my head it's like I'm still six years old and waiting for Santa.

And I guess it's a good thing to still believe in that magic, but it makes the thought of spending Christmas alone in a big city a little daunting. So perhaps it was those thoughts swirling in my head that led me to talk to my mum on the phone for nearly two hours this evening..I'm sure it had something to do with it at least.

My mum and I talk on the phone almost every second night or so, and usually it's for around an hour, but tonight was extra special because I opened my birthday present over the line! My mum doesn't have Skype or even a computer, so all of our communication is over the phone or through letters, so it felt like she was really here with me opening it, which is significant seeing she hasn't been to apartment since the month I signed the lease!

She had to twist my rubber arm a bit to get me to open it though, because my birthday isn't until next week; however, her argument was that we wouldn't get to talk to one another the day of my birthday because we'd both be so busy attending services and with the time zone difference fate probably wouldn't align. (My birthday is on Remembrance Day by the way!--Nov. 11)

She had packed me up a sweet little box, which I'm sure cost a small fortune to ship, and had stuffed it full of small little items with a lot of meaning: coffee because I complained I almost ran out a week or so ago, lots of warm socks and fleece-lined tights for winter in the country's coldest bloody city, different dark chocolates and little Nutella packs that I raved about four years ago when I went to Italy (was that really four year ago!!?!) and just became available over here recently.

All in all, it was a great little chat that distracted me from the fact that my muscles are sore from swimming, I have an ear ache, and I have a big assignment due Thursday. And to be honest, those are the best kind of chats of all, right?

No.2: Cake, Breaks and Cats

So these photos have definitely been taken over the course of more than one week and there is definitely an abundance of photos of Spencer..sorry about that..kind of. It's currently the last Sunday of Reading Week and I still of a mountain of readings to get through and an assignment I want finished, but I feel as if I've been somewhat productive over the last nine days. I've started at my new job and celebrated Halloween with some friends, but we'll save those photos for another day.

 I baked a pumpkin cake for a friend's dinner party that turned out quite tasty | Another essay was demolished through some serious editing | I felt like a real journalist again, going to cover a candidate debate

 The life of a journalism student...this was the night of the shooting | Look at how massive this carrot was! | I was productive at the school caf for once, working in front of the fire helped 

 As break finally neared, Spencer felt the same way I did | Most morning the past week have begun like this | That one night there was a fly in my apartment and Spencer climbed my bookshelves just to stare at it... -.-

Who Do You Think You Are?-Julie Walters & Cookies and Cream ice cream is magnificent | It's hard to discern, but perched on my balcony is a pigeon that flew into the doors TWICE | I knitted myself a mug cozy this week and I love it

No. 1: Travel, Essays and Fall

I've found myself snapping more photos of the world around me lately and thought I would capture them into one blogpost. Life has been hectic lately and I've missed the process of just writing random words down that don't have to pertain to a thesis. Second year has begun and is in full swing after a hectic summer and it feels as if I haven't stopped since last August when I moved up here: I've ran from exams into a job back into school with only a week reprieve. The experiences have been great, but I can feel the stress gnawing away at my edges. Stopping to take a picture and look at how pretty the leaves look over coffee has helped. So here are a few of the sights I've seen over the last two weeks.

It took me three drafts before starting an essay... | I forgot how labour-intensive long nights could be | The happiest sight of all: the last edit

 Ottawa has the strangest weather, it felt like 30C (!) | But the golden-coloured trees are making my late lecture slightly more enjoyable | A cold snap has finally started so it's beginning to feel like fall. Cue plaid and knitted scarves

I had to say goodbye to this little munchkin with yogurt on his nose last weekend... | ...in order to hop on a plane for the East Coast to attend my cousin's wedding, immediately following a midterm, with plenty of delays (read: six hours) | My younger sister and I got on extremely well at said wedding, making wonderful, fond memories

Unfortunately I had to say goodbye to the crisp ocean air far too quickly for my liking: 36 hours isn't enough time | Getting home to an empty fridge also led my to do a MASSIVE grocery shop. My arms were killing me | I absolutely adore snail mail and hop on every chance I can to decorate letters with festive stickers and pop along to the mailbox: Happy Thanksgiving!

And so, that's been my last few weeks mixed in with a few tears, too many late night and a hell of a lot of readings. University's been tough, not going to lie, but I'm making my way through it.

Anxiety

I've stopped posted the Picture A Day thing, solely because exams took up all of my time and right now I really need to just blow off steam and cleanse my mind and get a lot off my chest.
My anxiety has been acting up a lot within the last month and some. I thought that when I moved up here I would miraculously get better; in hindsight, that even sounds stupid.
I handled school pretty well. I only had that one really bad breakdown writing my history paper, which I did well on in the end. Then trying to plan for a trip home started and I had one night when I just reverted back to my old self... In fact I've had a few of those nights within the last few months.
Even now, after only writing a paragraph and not even getting to the point, I've calmed down.
The thing is, lately I've become more phobic of answering the phone. Tonight it got to the point where I procrastinated for over an hour, began shaking and tearing up and just had to force myself to do it. It's like that way with emails too sometimes, even if it isn't bad I just can't force myself to read it. A simple message from a friend I'll procrastinate for hours from reading it.
But tonight. I had to ask someone if they could look after my cat. I stuttered and I muttered and I talked in round about ways, generally becoming flustered. He agreed but after getting off the phone I burst into tears.
I began shaking again and I didn't know what to do and I'm just frustrated at myself.
I've also put off a trip to Gatineau and to Bath & Body Works because I'm scared to get lost. Those are little, materialistic things, but I'm literally stopping my life because I'm afraid to get on the wrong bus. I can chalk some of it up to laziness or "I don't want to talk an hour bus drive", but when it comes down to it I'm stopping my life because I'm scared. I've created my own little bubble here and some days I can't force myself to leave.
I don't know what to do. Lord knows I need the best therapist money can buy for all my issues, but at the moment I'm just struggling and hoping it will get better.
I need to remember to risk.

Snowfall

December 2, 2013

Published one day late, because I was writing an essay last night when my computer overheated and gave up on me, so I gave up on yesterday and went to bed. There will be a delay on the third's pictures as well, because I can't get the photos off my phone, but I promise I'm still taking the pictures and they will inevitably end up here.

And hey, the essay's written. FYEAH.

Capturing December: Favourite holiday movie

Pictured: Joyeux Noel--the Hollywood rendition of the "sends-shivers-down-my-spine-and-warms-my-heart" tale of the German and Scottish troops halted the fighting for Christmas Eve.

Unpictured: The Polar Express, which also has my heart with its story of believing and magic

December Book Photo Challenge: Favourite series

Pictured: How could I not go with the classic tale that started it all? Harry Potter and the wizarding world captured 7-year-old-me's imagination and has never let go.

Unpictured: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (potential favourite?), Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Prince, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Advent

Sunday, December 1st

The first day of Advent and debatably the “right” day to start becoming excited for Christmas. Obviously I’ve been beyond excited for the last month, but nonetheless the first of December is an exciting day. It also marks the first day of my photo challenges.

Capturing December: Your view today

A cup of Earl Grey, my cat Spencer and an English textbook looming in the background. 

Unpictured: the sound of Christmas music playing, my favourite stories up on my computer and my tired face

December Book Photo Challenge: To read this month

Selon-moi, an appropriate mix of festive and non-festive reads.

Pictured: The Christmas Secret (a collection of Atlantic Canadian short Christmastime stories), Remembering Christmas by Dan Walsh (Christmas romantic fluff), How To Be a Woman by Caitlin Moran (a.k.a. I've been meaning to read this since August) and Cornered by Ron MacLean and Kirstie McLellan Day (a.k.a. bought at the same time as How To Be...)

Other Memories From Today...

• I thought I worked a 2-10 today, but I worked a 6-2
• I hurt my finger trying to put my chair together
• It's been snowing all day, so everything else doesn't matter.

How did I get here again?

Multiple times this Fall I found myself stricken with the sudden urge to write a blogpost.
But I didn't.
Because I thought I couldn't.

You see, with the downfall of Google Reader, I thought I could no longer post through Blogger. No, I don't know why this made sense to me and no, I didn't try it out. I blindly and stupidly just accepted it as fact and some nights I would just scroll through old posts.

Until last week when I realized I was horribly mistaken.

So, here I am.
No longer on the East Coast, I have successfully moved to Central Canada and am loving living in my own space. I am attending the university of my dreams, in love with the content of my classes and hoping that I will be accepted into second year.

The next three weeks are going to be hell as a uni student, because exams are starting, but I really want to do the December Photo Challenge. I love this time of year and am already feeling particularly festive, so hopefully I will be able to follow through with this. I'm not sure if I will be able to post every day, I will be studying for exams and travelling back home for Christmas, so I may do weekly round-ups. But I hope to take a picture everyday to capture the magic all around us.

So, here it is, my next promise.
Let's see how she rolls...

Switchin' to Bloglovin'

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Start of March Break

I love watching the snow fall, and I love that my cats are just as fascinated by it as me. There is something relaxing about waking up before everyone else in the house and watching the the snow. It's peaceful. It seems to me that everyone is anxiously awaiting spring, but personally, I love it when winter lingers. I mean the harsh, bitter wind can be annoying at times, but the thought of a cup of hot chocolate always soothes my anger towards Mother Nature.

I find it unfortunate that people have this stigma that winter has to be a season of lassitude. But I suppose that's one of the things I love about it. It's quiet. No one really wants to venture out into this picturesque weather unless they "have to". That leads to empty streets and emptier sidewalks; as an introvert, what more could I want?

Maybe I am all alone in this category, but I find something magical about winter. Maybe it's the spirit of Christmas that remains in the air after all the decorations are packed away, or maybe it's a figment of my imagination. But those little fluffy bits of white hitting the icy streets are enough to put my mind at ease for now. For now at least, I'll be calm and happy and I'll hope that Ottawa promises the same snowy days.

The Summary of Events

The last few days have been pretty monotone for me; I have been fighting off a nasty flu bug, so not much has been accomplished. Thankfully, I didn't have any "real" homework to do, more like goals to get ahead, so that is what I have been trying to chip away at. Other minor accomplishments include studying for my driving permit (which I hope to take soon), and dreaming about my tattoo (which I hope to get soon). The last week or so has been spent at my mum's house, which has been absolutely lovely. I love staying here and I am going to be quite sad when I have to pack up and leave.

I have also been dreaming about my future apartment, all the things I still need to buy, and how fast this year is going. Halloween feels like it happened so recently, not over two months ago! Before I know it, it will be June and I will be packing to leave. Geez, that time is going to be so stressful, trying to pack and study and find an apartment and study! Well, I guess now is the time to enjoy doing nothing, it never seems to last long with me. At least whenever things get stressful or overwhelming, I now have one piece of advice to relax me: my escape is now mere months away, no longer years.

Au revoir 2012

Many sunsets were enjoyed, plenty of books were devoured, lots of moments were had...here's to 2012. 

I took my first train journey and I had my writing published for the first time, and then the second time. I travelled to Europe for the first time and selected a variety of images to share from the 1500+ pictures I took. Yes, 2012 was full of firsts and lasts and now we are on to bigger and better things I guess. I had some good times and some not-so-good times, but as I approach the end of my studies in Saint John I am happy with how things turned out. I feel like there is so much more left to say, and yet not at the same time. So, I guess, cheers to 2012 and bring it on 2013.

My Goals for 2013

Even though this didn't work out wonderfully last year, I figured that I would try to make a list of goals for 2013, hoping that maybe this time I will remember what I wrote.

1. Find a nice (and inexpensive) one bedroom apartment in Ottawa/Gatineau
2. Get a tattoo
3. Graduate high school with an overall average between 93-96
4. Finally receive my permit 
5. Spend more time with Rebecca
6. Celebrate my birthday with a glass of mulled wine
7. Come home for the holidays
8. Make my apartment completely "me", with a set of bookshelves flanking a workspace
9. Read more classics
10. Explore Ottawa...
11. Find a new second hand book store in Ottawa to take the place Loyalist City Coins and Books
12. Buy a bicycle
13. Work on The Search for Home
14. Spend quiet evenings focusing on relaxation and detachment when I move out
15. Write more short stories
16. Edit my writing more
17. Get a new piercing
18. Do well in my first semester of university
19. Visit more city parks 
20. Celebrate the end of high school with no inhibitions...to a reasonable extent!

I am thinking that it might be a bit interesting to keep this list close and write a post when I complete a goal on this list. It was a lot harder to write of goals I want to reach this year than it was last year. I suppose since I don't have a humongous trip looming on the horizon, and I have already received some of the best news ever (my acceptance into Carleton), things are looking up right now. I have more aspirations for the new year than goals, things I hope to do and hope I continue to do...we'll see. 

How I Fared with My Goals of 2012...

So, one year ago (give or take) I wrote a list of 21 things I wanted to complete before the end of the year. Then I promptly forgot about this list for most of the year and I have come to realize that to accomplish something...it helps to remember that something(s).

1. Finish Physics with at least a 90. --Finished with an 89 and a 98 on the exam, and that is close enough for me--
2. Speak one complete sentence in German in Germany, and get in on tape.
3. Speak one complete sentence in Spanish in Spain, and get it on tape.
4. Speak one complete sentence in Italian in Italy, and get it on tape.
5. Get my poem published in my District's Journal, or try harder next year.
6. Only submit my essay into the Turning Points competition if I am proud of it. --And got it published--
7. Have a lunch of pizza & gelato in the streets of Italy with my friends. --Solitary moments are my fondest--
8. Dance with a Spanish boy in Spain. --Does dancing next to count?--
9. Get a new ear piercing abroad. FAILED TO DO...
10. Receive high honours on all of my exams. WILL NEVER KNOW...
11. Finish grade eleven with at least a 92% average.
12. Visit Rebecca during the summer./Return to St-Raymond.
13. Travel to Ottawa by train. I GOT SPENCE FIXED AND DE-WORMED INSTEAD
14. Visit Carleton's campus. SAME AS ABOVE...
15. Get a job. --Security job at the theatre counts!--
16. Get my permit, then my license. BUT I DID JUST BUY THE HANDBOOK...
17. Buy a car. WITH WHAT MONEY??
18. Get Spencer fixed.
19. Kick ass in the 2012 swim season. --Mission. Accomplished.--
20. Heal my shoulder 100%. CANNOT ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE...BUT I'VE HEALED IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE...
21. Actually finish writing a complete novel, not story, admit it, N-O-V-E-L. UHH, NO.

I may not have accomplished all my goals, I am quite proud with how I fared. 13/21...err, right. Maybe I should explain on the goals I failed to do?

Get a new piercing abroad: The only piercing place I could find was on my last night in Barcelona; it was located in someone's apartment on the second floor and looked quite shoddy, so I passed...I kind of regret it now.
Receive high honours on all of my exams: I don't get my exams back, and never got to check the marks.
Travel to Ottawa by train/Visit Carleton's campus: I took the train to Quebec but didn't have enough money to continue to Ottawa, because I had to pay for Spencer to get neutered.
Get my permit, then my license: Again, a money thing, but I did buy the Driver's Handbook and will be taking my permit test before winter vacation is over!
Buy a car: Yeah...I must have thought I was going to win the lottery or something.
Actually finish writing a complete novel: Well, I definitely had large aspirations. I did get a very good dent into the novel I started last year though!

It is Christmas Once More

Today was the last day of classes before Christmas break and the thought of an 18 day break is wonderful; I am so excited not to wake up at 6am for the next couple of weeks. I have curled up in my fuzzy Christmas blanket, taken copious amounts of the Christmas-ness around me, and now I am debating what to do next. There are two Christmas stories that I have been "writing" for the last two years now: every year I always say that I will finish it, but I never seem to. I am not setting the unrealistic goal of finishing these story/novellas with only four days left until Christmas, but I would definitely like to keep working on them. It is always a struggle to remind myself to get the words down and then go from there. You can edit bad writing, but you cannot edit a blank page. In saying that, I guess I will procrastinate for another ten minutes, because I have really been wanting to answer the questions to one of those Christmas tags floating around. I figured it would be a cute way to document my Christmas sentiments this year...

1. What is your favourite holiday movie?
         This is a really hard question, because I love any cheesy, feel-good, Hallmark Christmas movie! However, you cannot beat the classics: I am talking Charlie Brown's Christmas, the cartoon versions of Frosty the Snowman, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, and How the Grinch Stole Christmas, The Polar Express is a newer movie that I really enjoy as well. 

2. What is your favourite Christmas colour(s)?

         Again, I'm a classics type of girl; I love red, green, and gold!

3. Do you like to stay in your pjs or dress up for Christmas?
         While I open my presents I am still in my pjs, then my mum cooks up a large breakfast once everything has been opened. I usually don't get dressed until it is time to head over to my dad's house around noon. 

4. If you could only buy one person a present this year, who would it be?
            I love giving presents so it is hard to pick only one person out of my family and friends...I think I would have to choose my best friend, because she has had a very rough year and deserves a pick-me-up.

5. Do you open your presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?
            When I was younger, I was always allowed to open one present one Christmas Eve, but now that I'm older that tradition has died away, so they all get opened on Christmas morning. 

6. Did you ever believe in Santa Claus as a child?
             Of course!

7. Have you ever built a gingerbread house?
              Not for a few years, but in the past I have.

8. Any Christmas wishes?
              That next year at university will be a good one (and generally a healthy one for all as well) and I will get the job I just applied for!

9. Favourite Christmas smell?
                Christmas to me is a variety of scents; it is a turkey roasting in the oven, the sweet smell of balsam, cinnamon and nutmeg, the warmth of vanilla, the smell of wood burning in the crisp winter air. It is one large combination of scents from my childhood. 

10. Favourite Christmas meal or treat?
                Definitely the chocolates that always seem to pop up, and my memere's cookies. Delicious. 

A Christmas Mood

I haven't been on here much lately, I seem to go through phases, but I thought I would upload some Christmas-y pictures of what my evening has consisted of lately. I love this time of year, even the air feels magical. So, I will be soaking up as much of the atmosphere as possible. 

Much time has been spent staring at Word docs on my computer...this was me trying to get
ahead on a French presentation. Spencer is a wonderful work buddy curled at my feet. 

My colourful Christmas lights have been a constant late-night & early-morning companion. 

The twinkling makes my smile every time I see them out of the corner of my eye.

My two holiday teas are now on heavy rotation:
Celestial Seasonings' Nutcracker Sweet & Stash's Christmas Eve. 

I am taking a night off from homework and trying to decide what to curl up with...

Whichever the book, I have a hot cup of "Christmas Eve" tea to sip on. 

And I am snacking on some dark chocolate I bought today
 whilst Christmas shopping, my one indulgence! 

Well, I suppose it's time for me to curl up with one of the books (I am leaning towards Mrs. Browning Book of Poetry), but I might end up reading snippets of them all.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. <3 i="i">

The end of an amazing thing.

Sometimes, there is honestly nothing better than finishing a thousand word essay in one morning. I have been procrastinating writing this essay for Political Science for about three weeks now, even though I knew from the get-go it would be an extremely easy essay, but part of me just kept putting it off...and off...and off. Alas, it is finally done and every student knows that moment where the laptop and books are closed and you just sit there for a moment. Revelling in the completed-ness. Even though there is another project or essay to finish, those few moments of satisfaction are pure bliss.

That's pretty much been my last few weeks: school, swim, eat and sleep in between. Being captain this year was one of my greatest accomplishments, but it sure made me busy. Now that I have finished provincials, I am going to miss the frantic rush around the pool and going to Mark's room every morning before class. We didn't get to compete in out very last relay because one of our girls went home...but I took over thirty seconds off my 400 front crawl. It's still unbelievable. The timers told me my time and I just froze, I had given my everything, there wasn't anything left. I had done everything I could out in the water and I had no regrets. It helped me beat my time; no, it helped me slaughter my time. I am more excited than ever to have these moments commemorated in the form of a tattoo. I haven't been writing anything outside of school lately, but hopefully that will change.