Again!?

I find myself bored with nothing to do and I did make that promise to write whenever I was bored so here you find me, snuggled down, far beneath my sheets with my kitten near my feet blogging. If I had some hot chocolate it would be the perfect scene. Anyways I had an idea about what to write about, besides all of my usual ramblings of course. I was thinking about how easy I have fallen back into the habit of blogging, which made me think about how hard I found it at the beginning, which lead to think about WHY I started blogging. My mind can connect some pretty far off things... But anyways, I was thinking about my blogging experience and before I dive into my reason for blogging I am going to talk about the "epiphany" I had. I now believe the reason I had such a hard time writing at first was because I had such a hard time opening up. I mean this is real I am writing this on the Internet where anyone could stumble upon. I was terrified that someone would read this I think. I mean now I realize no one besides me, myself and I read this or really care what it has to say. So now I have just turned it into my own personnal journal. This is where I jot things down away from the eyes of my family so I won't forget. At one time or another what I write here was important...er...well some posts, others I can freely admit are just stupid and nonsensical.

So going right into my blogging story then. It all started in July. When I was in BC on Rabbit Island. A lot of things commenced there...in theory. I had a lot of revelations there which in turn lead to a lot of changes and new things happening. Before I was on Rabbit Island I was feeling very discouraged about my work, very uninspired. However while I was on Rabbit Island one night at dinner (we ended up having supper very late there both nights I stayed) someone, me or my dad, I forget, let slip that I wanted to be an author. That made for an abrupt subject change, everyone was asking me questions and was GENUINELY interested! It was great! It was so powerful that suddenly I felt powerful! As if I could write anything and it was become a hit! It was these five strangers (six later that evening) who believed in me. That's what I felt, I didn't get any questioning to if my work was good, no scolding that an author was not a sensible career, disbelief. None of that which I had recieved back home from my family! There was one man there named Bruce who even swapped plot ideas with me! We talked about writing a mystery, something I was, and still am, scared to write because I don't believe I am smart enoughg to write a captivating, secretive, mystery plot, but at that moment I could have written one! That is what support does to you, I went from shy and embarassed about my dreams being revealed to suddenly telling everyone at the table about the stories I have written! It was truly a great memory.

However that does not explain why I started blogging, that came later that night while I was talking to an inspiring woman named Michelle (for privacy reasons I will not give her full name). She used to be a teacher but now spends her days living in Panama with a MONKEY. She was very inspiring, her and I sat down on the couch and talked for an hour, at least, about my writing! She gave me great advice about which genre I should persue and how I should go about it. She listed off authors I had never heard of and told me I needed to read their material! Before we parted that night we swapped email addresses but not before she gave me one more piece of advice on how to get myself out there. BLOGGING! So that is how I got on here but of course I am going to ram le on for another five minutes about other stuff.

It was those people on the island, Dave, Osa, Dave Two, Bruce, his brother and ESPECIALLY Michelle, who helped me get back into my writing spirit. I don't know if I still would be writing if it wasn't for their advice. I was at a point where I really had given up hope, after I had finally told everyone I wanted to be an author (which took almost a year) all anything anybody told me was negative! They told me I would never make it and should rethink things. I tried to stay positive, I did. Writing was what I wanted to do and I was still hoping that my family would see and accept that! But the last straw was when I saw my grandmothers face slip from a beaming smile to a grimace when I told her I wanted to write. That was it, I was hurt immensely and it wasn't until I was on the island that I regained all the courage my family had destroyed. So now I have the attitude that I am writing for myself and o my myself. I am goi g to do what makes me happy, not what makes my family happy. Sure I still have my doubts but for the most part, thanks to the wonderful people on Rabbit Island I am writing and confident again!

So that's my ramble of the week! Happy new years!

Memo to self-- Backdoor of Midnight was an amazing book! Read more by Elizabeth Chandler.