Alright so while I wait for my nails to try (I swear I can be the world's best procrastinator when I want to be, really gotta stop this...) I decided to write up a post just because I was/am feeling so overwhelmed today I needed to just write it all down and get it off my chest.
So I guess we can go in chronological order for this...why not right? About, oh god, three weeks ago now? I was in charge of making a slideshow for my school and had to borrow three girl's memory cards that had the pictures we needed on them. I got two of the memory cards back but couldn't find the third girl so I brought it home with me and then promptly forgot about it... So now, I feel like an utter schmuck because a few weeks ago a teacher approched me and said that they needed the memory card, I of course said oh no problem, it's at home I know exactly where it is! ....because I thought I did. I have been searching for it since then and just cannot find it, I do not know where it went to but it really is not in my room. So basically I lost this item that belongs to someone else and is super important. I feel like crying everytime I think about it just because I feel so bad and I don't know what to do...
Next I guess is just the fact that something was brought up to me the other day that made me think that maybe I made a rash decision last year that turned out to be the wrong one. Basically Chad, I feel really bad and have been re-thinking our last conversation. I miss him and wished we still talked. On the other hand, it does take two does it not? Still even saying that I can't help thinking, well what if I initiated our falling out? Again...super confused and I don't know what to do.
My first swim meet of this year is also tomorrow, against one of the best high schools in the province, we are talking top three here... So I am super nervous, especially because I am scheduled to be doing the 200 free, 100 fly, a relay along with whatever else he decides to throw at me... And I will only be swimming if I get 60$ to the athletics director tomorrow morning asap....
Writing it out it doesn't seem like that much but that doesn't eliminate the queasy feeling I have in my gut I am really dreading going to the teacher tomorrow and admitting that I lost the memory card...I really don't know what she will say as I never have had her as a teacher. I will offer to buy the girl a new memory card but that won't replace all of the pictures she lost...
My anxiety levels are so high right now I swear I am going to hurl... It doesn't help that Tom is in a pissed off mood tonight so in turn that makes me angry also along with sad and depressed for some reason? Hopefully I will post something tomorrow after the swim meet even if I do write it in tears saying I failed and need to drop out of school and move to Africa because the teacher is after me. Salut pour aujourd'hui...
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